The #1 Question I’m Asked About My Creative Marketing Consultancy Is…

Questions, Whiteboard Content

“How does you pronounce ‘Jaschek’?”

Jassik? Jasik? Jashek? Jasheck? Yaschek?

Right this second, you might be considering engaging me in some red-hot marketing consulting and copywriting projects, but are stalled by a fear of trying to pronounce my last name. Okay. I hear that. Here’s an interview with myself to help untangle that gnarly enigma.

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Q. How do you pronounce “Jaschek?

A. Well, much of my family here in the U.S. pronounces the “s-c-h” combination as an “s” sound, like ja-sic, with a short “a” sound, as if to rhyme with “classic.

Q. “Jaschek,” “classic.” Sure, that seems…

A. Forget I said that. The jury will strike the previous statements from the record

Q. Why?

A. I don’t pronounce it that way.

Q. How do you?

A. Well, during college, I started to embrace that odd consonant combination as a “shhhhh” sound, like the “sch” in Schwabor Dr. Schollsor Anheuser Busch, makers of Busch Light, thinking that this would actually help pronunciation, not hinder.

Q. So did it help, then?

A. Not at all. But by then the damage was done.

 Q. [Tries it out] “Ja-shhhek.”

A. [Nods in almost paternal approval]

Q. Side question: Is it true that your high school gym teacher would call you “JAZZ-check” in a high-pitched nasal, and that you felt that “JAZZ-check” was some alternate version of yourself that ran laps in an athletic supporter?

A. That is true. How did you get that information?

Q. We hear things.

A. Hmmm.

Q. You know, in its original, Germanc language, the “j” would be pronounced like a “y.”

A.True. But I can’t yustify that.

Q. [Rolls eyes] So: what IS the correct pronunciation of “Jaschek”?

Q. You’re asking me?

A. [Sigh.]

Q. I was hoping you knew.

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